With a heavy heart and with no hope was I and that week was when I was at my weakest and weariest moments. With no end to the family crises and cries, I had lost all hope of peace and was at my wit’s end. That dream was haunting me every night. What was I seeing? I am deep down in a dark well and shouting for help.. darkness and hopelessness all over me.. who will take me out of this.. is there anyone..?
The year was 1998 and I wished not to see yet another year.. I wanted to end my life. But that day was to be etched in my memory forever and my life was to turn for the best.
As usual I went to my school. One of our teachers had become a believer of Christ in those months.. He gave an open invitation to the class to come and take part in prayer one evening. Prabhu took me there, to our school chapel where the prayer was going on. It was the very first time I was attending a prayer meeting like that.
Though I could not make much sense of it all one thing stayed in my mind. As I was cycling back home the words of the song that they sung kept ringing in my ears,
நான் உன்னை விட்டு விலகுவதில்லை நான் உன்னை என்றும் கைவிடுவதில்லை
நான் உன்னை காண்கின்ற தேவன் கண்மணிப் போல் உன்னைக் காப்பேன்
(A Tamil song based on the Bible verse Deu 31:6-8 / Josh 1:5)
I was hearing this song for the very first time and the words were penetrating my heart. As I reached home, I went into a room and as I fell on my knees the meaning of the words dawned on me, that it was God who was speaking to me, “I will not leave you nor forsake you.. do not fear nor be dismayed”.
Tears were rolling down on my cheeks and peace began ruling my heart. My search for peace, joy, meaning in life ended in Jesus and it started my relationship with Him and I repented of my sins and committed my life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Today, 27th November 2014 nearly 16 years after this wonderful day I could meet in person the writer of this song, Fr. S.J. Berchmans. It was a blessed occasion to meet him as he has come to Bihar to minister in GEMS Gospel meeting that starts from this evening.
It was marvellous to look back and see how the Lord at the right time in my life used his song to touch and save me. I have always admired his Scripture based songs and today as I met him was attracted to his Simplicity. God bless this Servant of God!
This was also a reminder to me that every effort, small or big in God’s kingdom does not go waste. We have to faithfully do what God has called each one of us to do.
