I was on my way to my office, when I noticed this man dressed in Saffron with a long dirty hair and beard. I just looked at him and crossed him to go to my office. As I was taking this turn towards the gate, I could hear him speak loudly in my native tongue. That attracted me to him and I turned back and went to him. Ironically, on that day I too was wearing a Saffron Kurta and was carrying my Bible in my hand. As soon as I met with him, I asked him his whereabouts. He didn’t give me an answer. But started to talk many philosophies.
Our conversation lasted for almost 45 minutes. He was bringing one philosophy after another and I was debating them and nullifying them. He started off with the problems in the world, to the scams in Indian politics, to actors of Bollywood and Tamil cinema. Every now and then he was accusing a Catholic priest who had raped a girl and saying as though it would have happen in the future, that if he would go and meet with him, the priest would call the police and would send him to jail, for challenging him. I could see that he was frustrated and troubled with something that had happened in his life in the past, but I had no clue of it as he didn’t want to disclose it.
He also quoted a few verses and incidents from the Bible, especially the betrayal of Jesus by Judas and His death on the cross. And he was saying that this world will not allow a good man to live. And I told him that though Jesus knew Judas would betray Him, He did not chase him, but He forgave all those who crucified Him. And I told him the power and necessity of forgiveness.
There came a point in the conversation when he said that he too wanted to be an actor, a hero. I told him that he was an actor right then, portraying a mask and hiding behind it, when there is something which is in his heart. He was taken aback with this challenge. I continued to say my testimony and told him that once I too was bitter within myself and wanted to commit suicide. I told him how much hated my father, who was then a heavy drinker and whom I wanted to see off. I also told him about my own search for peace and love and truth through the teachings of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Vivekananda. I continued to say how Jesus changed my life, when He made me to see the evil in my own heart. Om hearing this, he started to cry. I told him, “If only you would shed these tears for your life to Jesus, He will give you life, abundant life. He will make you a blessing to all.” But by then there was a big crowd of people who had gathered around us and I didn’t want to embarrass him. I told him to remember all that I said and to give his life to Jesus. After this I left for my office and he left.
The next day a brother came to me and asked me how I managed to talk to him for such a long time when just half an hour earlier that day, a group of people couldn’t stand his philosophical challenges, even for three minutes. An offensive remark made by another person on how his faith had made him a beggar, had angered him and he had used abusive words and had walked away. I was unaware of all of this when I had met him that day.
I told him that I respected him as an individual and did not show any discrimination based on his attire or accent or faith. And I told him that would we not treat a person well, who is dressed in a Suit, though being a stranger?
In the course of conversation I learnt that, this man had told the group of people that his father was a heavy drinker and he was the reason for his wayward life. I was taken aback and I recollected that when I shared my testimony and the bitterness that I carried towards my father and the way the Lord delivered me, was exactly when he had broken. I was amazed at the work of the Spirit of God in connecting this person with me. Since this day I have been praying for this person, that his search for truth and peace and all answers would end in him knowing Jesus Christ as Lord & Saviour and committing his life to Him. Knowing that I played my part, I left the rest into God’s hands. This incident makes me marvel at the Sovereignty of God and the goodness of God.
I realized that all the pain that I went through as a kid were worthwhile, because all of it were helpful in connecting well with this man on that day.
“who (God) comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.”
Unusual bed time stories & its influence on my search for truth
When I was a kid I lived with my grand parents and every night my grandpa used to narrate me the stories of the Siddhars. He had become their followers during one of his usual visits that he used to make to Kerala. Every night I laid down near him listening to the stories of Pambatti Siddhar, Agasthyar, Thirumoolar, Bogar, etc. Later during my teens when I was struggling with my Catholic faith, this became the reason why I took onto the teachings of Vivekananda and ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Conscience). I was bitter within; with myself and with people around me. But when I was at the verge of committing suicide, a friend of mine introduced Jesus as my Saviour. My search for peace & truth ended in Jesus. He saved me from the deep pit of sin and bitterness and gave me joy, love and peace. (Since the context of this blog is different, I am not dwelling more on my long search for truth here. May be I will write another blog on it).
When I look back I clearly understand that all that happened in the past makes sense only when I see them in the light of the Gospel and through the renewed mind & life that Jesus gave me.
